I had an ok morning. I walked to town pushing baby in the pram. Its lovely and sunny. I called in on a few shops and met up with a friend for coffee. She has depression too and we discussed the different medication we've been give. The kind of conversation you can only have with another sufferer. She gets anxiety too, worse than I do I think. Its good that we can talk to each other without any judgement.
But I'm home now with an hour to kill before I bring my toddler home from nursery and all my motivation has left me. I wish someone else was picking him up. I don't want to go out again. But I have no choice.
I should be spending this hour sorting out the dishwasher and laundry but instead I am feeling sorry for myself and tapping this out on my phone. Baby is happy munching a banana and watching Baby Jake on TV. I'm lucky to have such good kids.
I need to find some motivation. The kids need clean uniforms for tomorrow. I should have put them on to wash yesterday but didn't. Why do I keep putting off simple jobs? Why am I finding washing a few tshirts and trousers stressful? It makes no sense! None of this does.
I feel like I'm crashing get down from some kind of high. Going to town and feeling human and normal for a bit was great. Now I'm home and feel rubbish again.
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