I love my job. I'm one of those lucky people who (when I'm not depressed) is quite happy to get up and go to work in the morning. I like what I do, I seem to be reasonably good at it, and I like the people I work with. The the last two days have been hard. There have been so many "urgent" jobs that needed to be done yesterday or quicker and it was so difficult to know how to prioritise and get through stuff. Normally I am good with time management and planning my work. For over 2 hours I just dithered. Luckily I managed to delegate some stuff, and had a frank conversation with my boss and the other departments to say that "No! I wont take on any more jobs until next week!"
Last night, after the kids went to bed, I vented long and hard to my husband about how much pressure I was under. I felt better for doing it. Although I was still shaking like I have been all week.
Today some of the urgent jobs were finished, and others have moved on, the rest I have explained will not get done - by me at least - until other stuff was done first. And I insisted. And the world didn't end.
Today is a better day.
Today I haven't felt as foggy. Today I am trembling less. Today I am not wanting to cry or shout.
But I haven't wanted to eat today, missing breakfast and lunch and only nibbling on some left overs from yesterday. I am a big food eater normally (over weight), and not eating isn't a great thing for me. I left a lot of my lunch yesterday, I just couldn't face it, and I picked at my dinner (letting my youngest come and stuff his face off my plate instead).
I am hopeful that the weekend will be good though.
Getting through depression and anxiety one day at a time
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